Friday, May 20, 2011


Our words are inadequite.

Our statements of faith and our pushes of passion, they're all inadequite.

Thank God for His completeness.

I don't know what it is about new beginings that make them so hard, but the adrenaline rush doesn't always cut it. You get so excited to start something fresh- to begin again, only to find yourself burried in a deeper hole then the one you tried to pull yourself out of in the first place. This is where I can lean on Him. It's in faith I believe I can do all things, because in my own strength, I am nothing but inadequte, incapable, and helpless.

I have been afraid to write lately because I have put some pressure on myself to "get it together" before I posted. But if I waited until I am back on track with my goals, then I would not be showing the real truth. The truth is, I need Him. We all do. And until we get over our perfectionist mindsets about who we are and learn to be vulnerable with Him, ourselves, and others, we will never overcome.

The bible says to "free yourself from the chains around your neck." We work hand in hand for our freedom. For me, its my struggle with food, and this love hate relationship I have with it. For you, it could be something completely different. Let go. Pull the chains off. Let others see so they will know they can be free too.

That is my goal in the blog. That someone else reading this will grow and get free becuase I have been raw and real in my struggle with bulemia. Its been almost two weeks since I've thrown up, but it doesn't stop the voices inside my head. Actually, they get worse when I don't do it. But everyday I am striving to choose to take the chains off of my neck. Some days I add them, some days I take them off. I like to think of it more as a two steps forward one step back kind of deal- not moving full speed, but eventually I will arive at my destination.

Inadequate alone, but with Him I am complete.